One of the most devastating aftermaths of domestic violence is that the victim has no support system.  There are homeless women who, because of lack of assistance, AFTER THE FACT, are lost in ways you can't even begin to imagine.  These women are self destructing and the resources are just not out there to help them.  Sadly the hospitals don't want them because they are homeless and have no insurance and therefore don't offer them any more assistance than to let them live another day to remain a victim in living hell.  The legal system doesn't want them because other than vagrancy and a nuisance they don't know what to do with them.

HOW DID THEY BECOME HOMELESS??? Many women are blessed to have relatives, or friends, who can help them until they get on their feet.  But if a woman has a child, or children, helping them isn't so easy.  They usually have no vehicle, no money, usually get out with the clothes on their back and most won't have a job.  Most abusers do not want their spouses working because then they won't be in total control of all aspects of their lives.  So resources is one of the reasons but let's look at a couple of other events.

A woman who has been abused for an extensive amount of time, doesn't have the ability to go to work, she has no self-esteem, there is no pill to fix the broken things inside her that you just can't see.  The odds are that she will turn to something to help her in her pain as she struggles to leave a bad situation.  I have seen time and time again in the community where I live this cycle that takes a woman and turns her into the streets.  This is a lower income neighborhood, I choose to live here... it is the place where I minister.  Most don't choose to live here... nor would even drive down these roads.  It is a community of mixed nationalities and has gone from a wonderful family community to one that now has drug deals and prostitution on the corners and gangs beginning to build.

Abuse is high and the women turn to drugs and alcohol to ease their pain.  When they finally get away, if they do, they are dependent and become reliant usually on their drug dealers or someone else living in the community that is just as abusive as the relationship that they were in.  Each time that they look in the mirror they hate that person and so they try to erase the pain, more drugs, more alcohol, many end up literally trading sex for their habits and still no rescue from the abuse... just more of it.  Most have their children removed, or given to other relatives which destroys yet another part of their lives.  Housing here at the low end is barely affordable and the pay scale for work is terrible.  Many times there are multiple families or many people living in one house just because at minimum wage they still can't afford rent by themselves in a "low income" neighborhood.  Trust me I am barely making it as a Legal Assistant making $10.00.  The low end rent here is running $750-$800 a month... add in the basics in utilities and you can't afford a car payment, insurance much less anything else.

The cycle... ah yes... you have the young girls (even the young men) seeing their parents struggle, they see kids at school who appear to have everything and they can't even afford shoes.  That is why the Rosebuds are so important to me... encouraging them to stay in school... because already in their tender years they are accepting that being hit, shoved and pushed around by boys is acceptable.  The young men see that their parents are working honestly 12 hour days usually six days a week at minimum wage and can't give them enough to eat... while the guy pushing drugs on the corner, or the prostitute,  is making more in one night than their parents made in a month.  They don't even see a point in finishing school... their parents can't afford the experts to file grant applications for them in the colleges... basically the young generation sees no hope.  The anger is growing in the youth at earlier ages than I have ever seen before.  Where once the majority was good and there was the occasional bad apple, I am watching an entire generation of youth that is in reverse.  Why? Because they don't see the future... as all young people do, they find each other, the girls crave attention from anyone and the boys will give it for a price.  Thus the cycle begins again...

Then the woman leaves the man who casts her into the streets where she will be used up until the next one comes along.  By then she is lost and goes to the woods and lives with whomever is there that will protect her from all the others... until something happens...

Last year three young women died, because they made bad choices... because there were no options... one of the three murdered died because she was lured by the murderer offering her a shower.  All she wanted was a shower... he raped and killed her and threw her in a ditch with debris.  I met two of the three in the streets... the man is in jail, convicted of murder, life in prison and three families are forever changed.  No one remembers the women, their faces or probably even their names.  We seem to be an expendable society when it comes to domestic violence, and violence in general against women.

BUT I believe we can change that, with the youth, with more shelters and resources.  I believe that with a helping hand, and post abuse care we can help women regain their sense of dignity.  I would like to see AA and NA develop a group specifically towards women helping women who are victims.  Communities that can see that there are adult education courses that are affordable to teach basic office skills.  The communities need to have youth programs aimed at encouraging and assisting young women (and men) in moving forward with their education.  Exchange "x" amount of hours of community service time for "x" amount of class time in a local community college.  These are very "do-able" concepts.  The results are living, breathing, viable women... not forgotten faces who are only remembered with tears.

BREAK THE CYCLE!